Christmas Woes

When I was little, Christmas was so exciting to me, the decorations, the gifts, seeing family, etc.  The past few years have been different though.  Yes, I still like the decorations and can't get enough of my family, but I haven't been excited about it for a few years.
In '06, I had myoclonic seizures practically all day, plus I had been pretty much dreading Christmas for some reason anyway.  My Daddy's family, I don't think, noticed I was having them (even though, while sitting on the floor (which is where I always sit on Christmas) one threw me against the deck door), so that was good.
When we were going to open the gifts at my Mommy's parents' house, I just kept having them (back then we didn't know what they really were).  Mommy, Daddy, Tommy, and Chris knew what I was doing but everyone else was asking me if I was ok.  Mommy said I should go lay down for awhile, so I did and they slowed down a lot.  What I didn't know until Mommy told me later was that my Uncle Randy also knew what I was doing and he went downstairs by himself and wept and prayed for me.
Since we didn't know what they were, we assumed they were tics so that's what Mommy told everyone.  Oh! my Mommy's family were so sweet about it!
Christmas of '07 wasn't bad because we did attend a Church and everyone went carolling at a nursing home, which was nice, except my Mommy started having an allergy attack from a dog they had there and she and Chris went out to the car.  She told me I could stay with everyone else, we weren't long though.  So that Christmas wasn't bad.
Last year, I was all worried about something that I will not mention, but a few days before Christmas I talked to Mommy about it and the next day started feeling better.
I can't really say that I'm looking forward to this Christmas because I know it will be hard without Pawpaw and I just wish sometimes that we didn't have to go through it.
Why can't I focus on Jesus Christ?  He is the Reason we celebrate.
Perhaps part of the reason is because we don't have a Church to attend anymore and I miss doing things with a Church family, especially around Christmas.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE doing things with my family but Mommy and Chris need friends.
Jesus Christ died that I might live and never die, to live eternally with Him, even though I am unworthy.  Why should I be distressed about Christmas when it's all for Jesus?
There is yet another reason that just came to me as to why I don't feel Christmas-y:  I used to have a little pink Christmas tree for Chris' and my room (not that Chris liked it but since I did, he didn't mind me putting it up), but don't have one anymore.  My point is, what sounds like fun to me is putting up a little pink tree on a rainy or snowy night (preferably snowy, of course) listening to Christmas music, and drinking eggnog with rum, lol! (or as I like to say 'rum with eggnog';)).  However, since I don't have one, I'm sure I'll get over it;)  After all, it's not about the decorations either, only the Risen Saviour, Lord Jesus Christ!
Of course, three more of my favorite things are family, food,....and fudge, lol!

Ok, until next time, please enjoy this video I saw on youtube.com of NEEDTOBREATHE 'Elf Yourself':



Fare thee well!
Grace be with you all!

Alive because of His Blood,
Katie Bekah